Covid 19...
Supporting a loved one or a friends family.
Most if not all of us now know someone who has had Covid-19 and recovered; (or did not). "How can I support a family grieving the loss of a loved one?" This has become one of the most common questions on loss and grief..... This may help in some small way.
Source:
Matriarchs
"Last week, I lost a special family member to COVID-19. He left behind a beautiful wife and two small children.
I was reminded this week how hard it is to walk through grief. When I lost my dad at the age of seventeen, I didn’t know how traumatizing it would feel to walk out of the hospital knowing that I had to leave my loved one behind in a cold bed. I didn’t know how gut-wrenching it would feel to smell the clothes that he had previously worn. I didn’t know how hard it would be to connect with reality after loss.
I would wake up in the morning and think it was just another day, only to have to realize that someone important was no longer with me. He was gone. I would crawl back into my bed and sink into myself. At times I felt lost, at times I felt complete darkness, but I also felt arms that carried me.
My family carried me through the dark days; my friends walked with me through my grief, our community took care of the orphaned and widowed.
As I walk with a widow and children through grief, I am reminded of what I have learned all of those years ago.
- One day - you will be able to crawl out of bed and face the day, but that day isn’t today.
- One day - you will be able to laugh with your children and feel like your days are normal, but that day isn’t today.
- One day - you will be able to think of your loved one without feeling like your heart is breaking inside of you, but that day isn’t today.
- One day - you will move forward and create a new life, but that day isn’t today.
- One day - you will be able to cook dinner, clean the house, wash the clothes, make the beds, but that day isn’t today.
- One day - you will be okay. It won’t always feel like it does today, but that day isn’t today.
But I promise you that day will come. You will walk out of the darkness, your heart will mend, and you will feel like you can do this.
But for now...
Let your loved ones carry you. Let your community take care of you. Allow yourself to grieve your loss.
Stay in bed under blankets, cry while wearing their clothes, grieve the life that you have lost - because one day - you will be ready to stand again.
One day - you will be ready to pack the boxes, paint the house a new color, experience a new way of living.
But - that day isn’t today, and that’s okay.
If you have lost a loved one to COVID-19 or to any other disease or accident, I am thinking of you today. You are so loved, and you will make it through this.
But today...let someone carry you.
