Saturday, January 3, 2015

Grief.... I am at the start of a New Year (2015)



Grief.... we have ended a year (2014)….
 and started a New Year (2015)....

Survival


Some of us, who grieve the loss of a loved one, have just ended what could be the two most difficult weeks of any year. Christmas and New Years create feelings and emotions that surge to our inner most soul 
and create a pain that few can understand.

We smiled and said we’re fine or O.K.; But we are not fine or O.K..

The norm is to celebrate with friends, food, noise-makers and resolutions. As a griever, you have successfully made it through these two weeks, while at times you just didn't want to go on.  
Congratulations on your strength and survival.

Fitting In
As all around you, others seemed so happy, you may have thought

“what do I have to be happy about? How can I possibly look forward to a new year without the physical presence of my loved one”

Grieving hurts… and if your loss is recent (or even 10 years ago) it can be debilitating, devastating or even dangerous.

     
Your loved one has died, your heart is broken, and your grief is overwhelming; you struggle daily with the draining emotion of sadness, you don’t feel ready or hopeful about facing a new year.  

Am I Normal
You are human, and all these feelings and emotions are what make you that way. Because you are human, time will help you adapt and daily living can once again include joy in these events….. as well as birthdays, anniversaries or similar special, memorable happenings.

A Legacy of Gifts
Your love and relationship with your loved one influenced you physically, emotionally, spiritually and mentally. These are your loved one’s permanent gifts to you. They can never be taken away or forgotten. 
But you can share these gifts with others….. especially in the New Year.

My New Year Resolution

Write a list of gifts your loved one has given you.  

Maybe a love for music, or reading, or art, or travel, or faith, or being physically active …. (you get the idea). Match these gifts to your community needs where you live. In memory of your loved one, volunteer your time to carry on and honor their legacy…. 

Create a New Years Resolution to share these gifts with others.
Be it with children, adults or seniors; find a place to put your loved ones gifts given to you into action. Carry them forward by sharing them with others.

How do I create a Positive Resolution?



Helping out at a children’s centre with crafts or sports; reading books to young listeners at the library; joining a walking group or faith related study group. You need to put the pieces of the puzzle together and end up with a picture of how you will change your world (and the world for others) over the next 12 months. Come  Christmas or New Years 2015/16. you will be better equipped to enjoy it… not forgetting your loved one, but knowing the essence of "their being" still lives on through your actions and in honor of them.



End Result
You will feel stronger as you face your Christmas & New Year (2016) You may even smile, remembering the love, joy and gifts your loved one 

gave to you still live on.



For Readers in Region of Waterloo Canada

Bill R is available for 
Private Sessions 
and/or referrals to Not-for-profit Organizations 
providing no fee services to all denominations.


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