Coping with Guilt and Anger

Coping with Guilt and Anger

Introduction for Coping with Guilt

One of the things we do when we feel there’s nothing we can do, is feel guilty.  

Guilt Phrases:

If only….                                What if….

I should have….                     I could have….

I would have….

In a situation where there is nothing we can do, we try to think of something we could have/should have/would have done…

Thoughts on Guilt

·         Guilt gives us a feeling of control or an illusion of control

·         Guilt looks for ways to change the outcome

·         There is a big difference between BEING guilty and FEELING guilty

·         Issue is not guilt. It is our sense of helplessness & powerlessness

·         Need to come to terms with guilt as it is a negative and counter-productive emotion.

FORGIVENESS IS THE KEY TO DEALING WITH GUILT, BLAME, AND ANGER

Helpful Hints in Coping with Guilt

1.      Recognize that some things in life are beyond our control.

2.      See guilt for what it is-an emotional setup

3.      Concentrate on the things we did do with or for our loved one and learn to let the rest go.

“No one can persuade us to change. Each of us guards a gate of change that can only be open from the inside. We cannot open the gate for another, only our own.”         

                                   

Coping with Anger

Some People Need to Blame.

Root of Guilt is often the Feelings of Helplessness.

Grief attempts take responsibility for the experience, but are really attempts to regain the illusion that we are in control of our lives. 

Root of Anger: Feelings of Helplessness.

Thoughts on Anger:

·         Desperate attempt to find a cause for the situation.

·         A protest against something we are unable to control.

·         Anger is not necessarily a negative emotion.

·         Anger needs to be expressed appropriately, focused in the right direction.

·         Our anger often gets misdirected or misplaced.

Bill Robson C.A.E., ATM gained his experience in grief as a

• Grief Counselor
• Distress Telephone Centre Trainer  
• Hospice Volunteer
• Group Facilitator, Bereavement
• Youth & Family Counseling

There are resources in most communities, a note to myself and I will do some homework, sending you the information. You can also seek out your local volunteer bureau for a list of organizations.

The hardest step in regaining the sense of control is to ask for assistance. 

This is not a weakness, it is a strength.