(Parents rarely let go of their children, so children
let go of them. They grow up and move on. Move away and start their family. The
life their parents knew was defined with children at home. Now empty nesters the parents create a new
role as parents and a couple; a new definition of who they are. A different role that is a mixture of sadness for what is no more and questions about what is to be.)
“The grief process is not only about mourning the loss, but getting to know yourself as a different person”.
The same redefinition
of “who am I now?” occurs in grief.
“You lose yourself, your identity, meaning, purpose, values, your trust”.
- After years of devoting all your spare time as a
care-giver to a loved one, “now what do I
do,who am I now? ”
- As a parent, “now who am I?” What do I say when
people ask “Do you have any children?”
- A life long friend dies and you feel lost, not
knowing anyone you trust as much to share your deepest secrets with.
- If a brother / sister dies, you ask; “Am I still a brother / sister?”
- When a grandparent dies you might feel your family history goes with them. Children's first experience with human death is often when this happens.
(Parents rarely let go of their children, so children let go of them. They grow up and move on. Move away and start their family. The life their parents knew was defined with children at home. Now empty nesters the parents create a new role as parents and a couple; a new definition of who they are. A different role that is a mixture of sadness for what is no more and questions about what is to be.)
“The grief process is not only about mourning the loss, but getting to know yourself as a different person”.
The same redefinition of “who am I now?” occurs in grief.
“You lose yourself, your identity, meaning, purpose, values, your trust”.
- After years of devoting all your spare time as a care-giver to a loved one, “now what do I do,who am I now? ”
- As a parent, “now who am I?” What do I say when people ask “Do you have any children?”
- A life long friend dies and you feel lost, not knowing anyone you trust as much to share your deepest secrets with.
- If a brother / sister dies, you ask; “Am I still a brother / sister?”
- When a grandparent dies you might feel your family history goes with them. Children's first experience with human death is often when this happens.
There is a need to redefine who you are.
Not for others, but for yourself.
A new definition of “WHO AM I NOW?”
Here are five suggestions on how to try and redefine who you might become.... (the essence of you).
NO NEED TO RUSH: First you need to give yourself time to grieve. Seek out local Grief Groups or Community Grief Counselling. You will know when you are ready to give consideration to these suggestions.
HOBBIES
Have you ever wanted to try a hobby but never had the time? (Scrap-booking, painting, singing, story teller, photography) Find a friend with a similar interest and join a group together.
VOLUNTEERING is an excellent way to meet new people. Cook for people who live alone; be a hospital friendly visitor; join a community committee planing special events.... give back and feel good for having assisted others in some way.
ADULT EDUCATION
Sign up for a general interest course or to get a certificate or degree.
TRAVEL is an option as well. Visit family who live far away from you. Friends you have not seen for a long time.
FAITH BASED ACTIVITIES
Join a church or if you already belong, see which groups meet, when and what they do.
There are resources in most communities, a quick note to myself and I will do some homework, sending you the information. You can also seek out your local volunteer bureau for a list of organizations.
The hardest step in regaining the sense of control is to ask for assistance.
This is not a weakness, it is a strength.
A new definition of “WHO AM I NOW?”
Here are five suggestions on how to try and redefine who you might become.... (the essence of you).
NO NEED TO RUSH: First you need to give yourself time to grieve. Seek out local Grief Groups or Community Grief Counselling. You will know when you are ready to give consideration to these suggestions.
HOBBIES
Have you ever wanted to try a hobby but never had the time? (Scrap-booking, painting, singing, story teller, photography) Find a friend with a similar interest and join a group together.
VOLUNTEERING is an excellent way to meet new people. Cook for people who live alone; be a hospital friendly visitor; join a community committee planing special events.... give back and feel good for having assisted others in some way.
ADULT EDUCATION
Sign up for a general interest course or to get a certificate or degree.
TRAVEL is an option as well. Visit family who live far away from you. Friends you have not seen for a long time.
FAITH BASED ACTIVITIES
Join a church or if you already belong, see which groups meet, when and what they do.
Here are five suggestions on how to try and redefine who you might become.... (the essence of you).
NO NEED TO RUSH: First you need to give yourself time to grieve. Seek out local Grief Groups or Community Grief Counselling. You will know when you are ready to give consideration to these suggestions.
HOBBIES
Have you ever wanted to try a hobby but never had the time? (Scrap-booking, painting, singing, story teller, photography) Find a friend with a similar interest and join a group together.
VOLUNTEERING is an excellent way to meet new people. Cook for people who live alone; be a hospital friendly visitor; join a community committee planing special events.... give back and feel good for having assisted others in some way.
ADULT EDUCATION
Sign up for a general interest course or to get a certificate or degree.
TRAVEL is an option as well. Visit family who live far away from you. Friends you have not seen for a long time.
FAITH BASED ACTIVITIES
Join a church or if you already belong, see which groups meet, when and what they do.
There are resources in most communities, a quick note to myself and I will do some homework, sending you the information. You can also seek out your local volunteer bureau for a list of organizations.
The hardest step in regaining the sense of control is to ask for assistance.
This is not a weakness, it is a strength.
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